Itch.io, an egalitarian website for internet hosting, posting, and downloading indie video video games, is stuffed with cum. As a refuge for inventive nobodies to harness an viewers with out worrying concerning the cash, Itch is filled with loads of different issues too, like medieval comedian books, homicide nuns, and cat belongings. However the cum is what made Apple legal professionals name it “so offensive we can’t discuss them right here.” And Itch’s supposed lo-fi depravity is what you’re right here for, proper?
Proper. Whereas Apple was appropriate in its perception that there are quite a lot of NSFW video games on Itch, I’d chorus from calling them offensive. Like the vast majority of free porn on-line, NSFW Itch video games can extra precisely be named “crude middle-school fantasies,” such as you downloaded your reminiscences of “lesbian boob kiss” search outcomes right into a thumbdrive after which inserted that drive into a tiny hand to the touch your self with.
What you want—what all of us want, actually—are porn auteurs, or in Itch’s case, video games that carry out intercourse in smelly, soulful methods. I current you with this: 5 free erotic video games that aren’t solely seeking to pump blood straight into your guts, however into your perverted coronary heart as nicely.
Be aware that this listing prioritizes one of the best of Itch’s extra obscure titles, however the platform’s greater NSFW video games from builders like Christine Love, Robert Yang, Dr. PinkCake, and Towerfag are equally tantalizing (you possibly can study a bit about why in my earlier porn video games listing).
Metallic Plug
Metallic Slug, the sequence born in 1996, is stuffed with motion video games that appear ideally suited for taking part in whereas choosing your nostril. You’ll be able to play tough, robust, and partially checked out. The NSFW spoof Metallic Plug by Juicy Eliot, then again, is sweet for taking part in whenever you wish to see butthole. Nonetheless tough, nonetheless robust, however it’s more durable to take a look at whenever you’re being confronted with a unadorned forest lady’s flapping pink ass.
Metallic Plug performs equally to Metallic Slug and employs a number of the sequence’ roguelike components. You need to blast machine weapons and spells (together with bullet time, and extra uniquely, “large dildo bomb,” and “plug defend”) at bare evil doers who kidnapped your bare horny pals. Large pink cocks typically rain down from the sky. All in all, Metallic Plug explores what much less inventive NSFW video games may be too cowardly to even comprehend—what in case your butt plug gave you energy?
Excellent Residence
This entry is for the furries on the market, everybody else, defend your cat’s eyes. Citrine’s role-playing recreation Excellent Residence asks you to discover the dusk-fallen woods as a vindictive boy witch, who additionally occurs to be a cat. Everybody on this recreation occurs to be a cat, and, through the use of your very erotic thoughts management powers, you flip them into your submissive slave cats. It’s harking back to an 18+ Undertale. I assume you needed that.
Some Sword / Some Play
Let me whisk you away from the world of orifices and anthropomorphic cats and introduce you to Some Sword / Some Play, an interactive fiction recreation by Moniker Ersatz. That is for smut sluts with yearbook-level Pinterest boards devoted to Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy (me).
Within the recreation’s sword-carved fantasy, you’re a duelist who everybody, by sheer luck, needs to fuck. Strategy and have salty banter with 4 characters, your patron, your buddy, a prophet, and your enemy, to get to the great components, which is the erotic lit stationed all through the sport.
Pleasantly, in contrast to many genitalia-obsessed porn video games, Some Sword / Some Play is physique and sex-positive. Dialogue prompts provide you with time to tranquilly determine on all characters’ pronouns and anatomy, and the sport leaves you feeling moved to smoke a clove cigarette and picture your room stuffed with scorching knights.
Randy Retro 1
Randy Retro 1 by randyretro69 is a perplexingly, fascinatingly unusual intercourse recreation. Based on its description, you possibly can play it in your browser or in your Recreation Boy by way of flash cart for those who ever needed that system to turn out to be sexy.
In a browser, the gameplay is easy. It largely entails urgent “Z” in your keyboard till you get a wild-eyed pixel lady to get bare. Your disembodied pixel penis cums on her face—rinse, repeat. However the dialogue. Man, the dialogue is so bizarre.
The lady says “oh ye” prefer it’s all she needs, aside from your dick. “Oh ye get you good and laborious!,” “Oh ye I really like your huge cock between my tits,” “Oh ye you want that?” Oh ye it prevents any type of temper from forming, even in components of the sport you’re inspired to pull your cursor down the lady’s physique like a makeshift third appendage (fourth?). “Oh ye slap my ass,” she says. It’s surreal and medical, an artwork piece about instructing doggy-style to aliens.
Attractive Booby 95
Per Silkworm Sweatshop’s Attractive Booby 95’s Itch description, “you’re 13 and all you need in life is to see that SEXY BOOBY on the interwebs. Too dangerous your loved ones pc is a chunk of junk, not having been up to date in over a decade. It’s susceptible to slowdown, and crashes that preserve you away from that SEXY BOOBY!”
Attractive Booby 95 was created for a recreation jam in 48 hours, most likely the identical period of time you’d have to get your in-game household pc to work and reveal horny booby. If truth be told, you’re powerless to do something aside from float your MS Paint cursor over to the flashing “homework” folder, the place your character has cleverly hidden a hyperlink to www.sexyboobyxxx.com (I’ve not checked if this web site exists, however do let me know if it does). You’ll be able to click on aggressively on the hyperlink, however you’ll inevitably be foiled by unstable web or parental management. Take that as an indication to go away booby behind and, as an alternative, go to the beginning menu to play “SurFree,” an truly habit-forming Flash-type recreation through which it’s a must to dodge sharks.
It’s a humorous little recreation you don’t should suppose too laborious about. You most likely shouldn’t should suppose too laborious about any of this, truly. Intercourse ought to by no means be “unspeakable,” particularly when it occurs on Itch.io. Play these video games together with your eyes vast open, nothing Stanley Kubrick about it.
