My first day of fifth grade continues to be memorable a long time later. When the instructor did roll name in a category of 30 college students, three of us had the identify Lauren. I used to be shocked. I secretly wished I used to be the one one.
I’ve all the time cherished my identify, and up till age 10, I had no thought Lauren was standard. Over time, I would change into used to folks within the early 80s naming their youngsters similar to me.
My Chilean father, Jorge, moved to america when he was 28 years outdated. Everybody referred to as him George. His official paperwork, reminiscent of his passport and driver’s license, had his beginning identify — Jorge. Like most immigrants, he did his finest to assimilate. Adopting an English model of his identify was one option to decrease calling consideration to himself and assist him mix into the melting pot of america. He made it simpler for his colleagues and shoppers to say his identify.
As a child, I assumed it was cool that he had two names — one in Spanish and one in English. I needed to have two names, too, like him, though my dad did not educate me Spanish.
My identify would not exist in Spanish
After I’d go to my abuelita a few instances a yr, who did not communicate a lot English — she discovered it when she was 50 years outdated, I would all the time ask her, “How would you say my identify in Spanish?” Her reply was all the time the identical — “Your identify would not exist in Spanish.” I felt let down, bummed.
I did not perceive it on the time, however I used to be in search of and eager to be part of one thing larger — intangible, after all. I needed one thing that appeared inside attain and but so far-off. I perceive now, as an grownup, that I needed to be part of my dad’s tradition and join with him and his household, together with my abuelita. I needed to really feel like I belonged.
Questioning whether or not my identify existed in Spanish was my means of making a reference to my abuelita regardless of language variations. In spite of everything, neither certainly one of us spoke the opposite’s native tongue. I’ll not have been profitable or acquired the reply I hoped for, however now I perceive my query had a deeper that means.
I began saying my identify in a different way when talking in Spanish
In my late 20s, I moved to Spain to show English as a language assistant in a highschool. My actual purpose was to study Spanish and communicate fluently. I rapidly discovered that once I stated my identify, whether or not it was to make a reservation at a restaurant or take care of in-person bureaucratic paperwork, most Spaniards would ask me to repeat my identify quite a few instances. Over time, I ended saying my identify as if I have been in america (Lor-in). As an alternative, I deferred to announcing my identify because it sounds in Spanish (Lao-wren) to save lots of myself time and frustration from reiterating it too many instances.
Much like what I think about my dad will need to have skilled residing in america, I discovered it is simpler to adapt. Not solely is it extra handy for the opposite individual, but it surely additionally saves me the trouble of repeating myself and being reminded continually that I am international.
It seems my abuelita wasn’t precisely proper. Lauren will not be a Spanish identify or have a direct translation, but it is doable to pronounce it in Spanish. My identify is adaptable in each languages. I admire that my identify can have two pronunciations, even when it is a reminder that I am from some other place. And as a daughter of a Chilean immigrant, it could be ironic that I used to be all the time in search of to mix in and belong.
