A visitor submit by The Australian’s Economics Editor, Judith Sloan
“This week Peter Dutton launched his much-anticipated plan to construct 100 new planets out of cheese by 2035. It was a aid to lastly see a mature proposal put ahead for fixing Australia’s power disaster.
Based on Dutton, the brand new planets might be constructed by flying mermaids, with cheese grown in bat caves utilizing yet-to-be-developed dragon-fire know-how. Which, when you concentrate on it, makes good financial sense.
Whereas Information Corp hasn’t advocated for, and even heard of flying mermaid dragon-fire cheese earlier than at present, now that it’s been fed to us as a Coalition speaking level, it couldn’t be clearer that that is the one approach ahead for Australia.
The advantages, though they haven’t been articulated or costed in any approach, are so apparent, they don’t even require clarification.
What we must be asking ourselves as a substitute, is why Labor is standing in the best way of spending an unknown quantity on dragon-fire cheese planets constructed by imaginary mermaids. By stubbornly refusing to even contemplate concepts reminiscent of these, as ordinary, they’re holding Australia again.
As anybody who has learn the press launch leaked to us at present will let you know, Cheese-Enabled Planetary Expertise (CEPT) is a far superior type of power era to wind and photo voltaic. And with out the necessity for ugly panels or generators (see picture above).
It’s essential to level out that the often-referenced CSIRO modelling, which claimed that constructing cheese-based planets utilizing mermaid labour was “fucking ridiculous”, relies on flawed knowledge. Their assumptions that mermaids and dragons don’t exist are nothing greater than that – assumptions. Clearly the ‘scientists’ on the CSIRO haven’t learn the Coalition’s in depth one-page evaluation which exhibits that mermaids, as soon as invented, can construct cheese-based celestial objects shortly and affordably.
Dutton’s plan is the well-thought-through power answer we’ve been ready for for many years. As Peter Dutton so eloquently defined this week, the bat caves will be up and operating inside a 12 months, and the primary twenty cheese planets will be totally operational and producing electrical energy by the tip of the last decade. That is the extent of certainty Australians so desperately want.
Little doubt the same old naysayers will rear their heads. They’ll complain concerning the lack of costings, confirmed know-how, and neighborhood session, or the truth that planets made out of cheese may soften as they rotate across the solar. Some will declare that cheese planets don’t exist. However that’s merely a ploy from determined hecklers attempting to distract you from what’s clearly a wise financial plan for Australia’s future.
As we head to the subsequent election, Australians may have a option to make. Do they need wacky power options dreamed up on the again of an envelope? Or do they need cheese planets constructed by mermaids and powered by dragon fireplace? I look ahead to sharing my additional ideas on the deserves of cheese-based energy in an extra seventy columns between every now and then”.
The submit “Why Dutton’s Plan for New Flying-Mermaid Cheese Planets Makes Financial Sense” appeared first on The Shovel.
