I’m starting to suppose possibly some individuals forgot how dangerous the unique motion pictures actually acquired. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was when the cracks began to indicate within the mighty youngsters’s franchise, indicators that inventive fatigue had set in, or that the arduous work put into the primary two movies weren’t carrying over. The film was dangerous, a lot in order that it disenchanted youngsters in all places and even broke up completely satisfied properties. That’s why I’ve been speaking about it so negatively for all these years, making an attempt to ensure individuals perceive how dangerous the third film is, however with it celebrating thirty years of existence, I figured it is perhaps an excellent time to debate how I’d really try to repair this travesty with out altering it fully.
The place do we start? Effectively, the script in all probability looks like crucial factor, however even a beautiful story could be torn aside by these behind the digital camera. Every thing has to work nicely collectively to some extent and that begins with the director and his crew. On this case, TMNT3 was helmed by Stuart Gilliard, a person principally identified for his work on tv, and there’s a cause for that. After this atrocity, his profession would go proper again to the small display, however his failure right here is probably going as a result of Gillard didn’t got down to make an superior Ninja Turtles film, no, he wished to make his thought of an epic Samurai movie. This didn’t work, and though among the technical features have been effective, another person was wanted who had extra of an appreciation for the supply materials, or not less than the style. For my decide, I’d both go seasoned with Matthew Vaughn (X-Males: First Class, Kick-Ass) or take an opportunity on somebody like Marc Webb (500 Days of Summer time, The Wonderful Spider-Man).
Whereas we’re at it, let’s go forward and swap out the remainder of the crew aside from possibly the situation scout and cinematographer, as that is the lushest and most colourful TMNT movie out of the originals. I don’t wish to say nobody else cared in regards to the challenge, however they didn’t even spell Michelangelo’s identify appropriately on the finish. The advertising and marketing individuals won’t have been too dangerous, as they did have a Burger King tie-in and it gave youngsters and collectors alike some new motion figures, however the trailers weren’t doing this film any favors. The writing was on the wall, as TMNT III wasn’t even screened for critics and was brutalized upon launch.
On the audio aspect, we have to try to get the voice actors for the Turtles a bit extra into it and nail these traces slightly extra. It’s nice to have Corey Feldman again, however Splinter shouldn’t be doing it for me. I do know there’s some controversy round Kevin Conflict, the unique performer, however we are able to discover somebody higher. Whereas we’re at it, let’s drop these whacky sound results, simply to assist the tone a bit extra, that doesn’t imply all of them need to go, however most are out. Lastly, the soundtrack is okay. I nonetheless have a replica of the CD sitting on my shelf and folks love some “Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora.
Yet another factor in regards to the presentation, the large turtle within the room because it have been, and that’s how the boys have been trying again then. These costumes want an improve. It’s unhappy that Jim Henson’s Creature Store didn’t return (rumored to be as a consequence of cash) and the price range in all probability pressured them to decrease the bar extra, however in our reimagining right here, we don’t have issues like that. Because the years handed, the comparisons to the older fits grew to become extra evident, and the dangerous lip actions stood out extra, making these tougher to view. These aren’t the worst-looking variations of the Turtles in live-action, however they’re nonetheless critically missing. If that wasn’t sufficient, take note of how we by no means actually see Splinter’s decrease physique, or after we do it’s hidden by material, as a result of they didn’t end it. Now that’s high quality.
So let’s discuss in regards to the story. Readers are probably aware of this plot, however for individuals who aren’t, the film entails April O’Neil (Paige Turco) choosing up an outdated vintage Japanese egg timer as a present for Splinter (James Murray) that seems to be an historical scepter that sends her again via time to feudal Japan. When she leaves, Kenshin (Henry/Eidan Hanzei) arrives in her place, each shocked to be in 1603 and 1993 respectively. The Turtles should observe their finest human pal again in time, however doing this brings 4 different individuals, honor guards defending the time scepter ahead, so Casey Jones (Elias Koteas) is introduced in to assist Splinter babysit them. Previously, the heroes try to rescue April after which assist the rebels defeat Lord Norinaga (Sab Shimono) and his overseas ally who has all of the weapons, Walker (Stuart Wilson). Couple this with just a few small aspect plots and the quartet shedding their solely means residence, and we have now a film, one which probably appeared effective on paper.
This story was partially taken from the Mirage run of TMNT, points #46 and #47, however that and the episode of the cartoon the place the 4 brothers return in time are each completely different from the film, even when they have been going for a synergistic cross-media time journey fashion occasion. There was additionally the Turtles in Time arcade recreation, launched in 1991, that might have made for a greater film, however I’d hate to see the price range on that.
As to not deviate from the unique thought of the film an excessive amount of, we depart the time scepter as the large McGuffin for the movie and ignore the comedian, the place it’s introduced into play by a busty ally named Renet, who’s a timestress. In reality, the opening of the movie works, beginning out in 1603 and organising the battle with these characters, permitting Mitsu’s (Vivian Wu) rebel and her relationship with Kenshin to take heart stage for a bit. That is essential, seeing as the unique minimize provides us only a few causes to care about what’s occurring or to grasp why preventing towards the Daimyo issues a lot. Utilizing this strategy can even, hopefully, give Kenshin a greater introduction after his horse chase than having him angrily minimize down torches.
My plan could be to have April provide her egg timer as a present just for her to nonetheless be despatched again in time, however we don’t swap her with anybody. Let Splinter’s massive second be explaining what he is aware of of the scepter and hinting on the delusion of the Turtles as Japanese legends, kappas. He’s clever, so he’ll have already found out that the boys have to return in time, as a result of they’ve already accomplished so, and he doesn’t wish to mess with historical past. Donatello nonetheless will get to do his science stuff on the time scepter and within the meantime, Casey is named, he comes to assist discover April as nicely and possibly even stows away with the brothers towards their needs, involved for his love. Sending Casey again in time makes the character of Whit extra essential and permits him to show his ancestor about being an excellent man and never a traitor, giving Koteas a extra essential position within the movie. This might even get into some Again to the Future-style shenanigans with Casey probably not being born if he doesn’t set his household line straight.
With the primary characters having extra cause to remain previously and assist out, we don’t have to have them lose the scepter and attempt to make one other one, since they’d notice they’ll’t make a replica have the identical magical properties (although Michelangelo ought to nonetheless try to cook dinner pizza and discuss opening up a franchise), however quite lose it when Whit kidnaps Mitsu. All of this collectively ought to assist construct funding within the rebel, the villagers, and towards the dangerous guys.
In between these beats, focus extra on the Romeo and Juliet state of affairs between Kenshin and Mitsu, how the latter is trying to overthrow his father from the within and the previous isn’t simply preventing for love, however for her nation. This leaves Kenshin to need to develop up in some methods and notice why his beloved can’t simply run away with him however wants to remain and combat. We will additionally nonetheless have Raphael bond with Yoshi, the younger boy, so the 2 may also help one another with their anger points. Raph realizing how a lot he’s grown himself is likely one of the few good character moments within the movie.
The final key story component is to exchange the villains. It’s a bit unhappy as a result of I respect each of the actors who play Walker and Norinaga, however there isn’t a lot to them. The comics had an enormous mutant lizard samurai for his or her model of this plot and I can’t assist however really feel we acquired the shaft. When Michelangelo tried to match Walker to Clint Eastwood in that one scene, I noticed this isn’t working as a result of we aren’t given any good causes to really hate or worry them, however making one in all them a mutant or simply displaying them being extra inherently evil. This might additionally assist us keep away from the dangerous results of Walker’s loss of life scene.
There may be one factor that we completely should steal from the comedian for our ending as an alternative of that faux out with Mikey. What’ll assist this shaky script it doesn’t matter what is that the individuals the great guys helped overthrow the ruthless Lord have now been educated to defend themselves and can change for the higher for it, studying martial arts and agreeing to by no means let anybody else rule them once more. These individuals will kind a brand new group, a clan, The Foot Clan.
Roll these rattling credit!
Maintain the film across the similar runtime, give the Turtles a greater intro and ending that doesn’t contain dancing, have Splinter inform a greater joke, and up the variety of combat scenes for the reason that Turtles can use their weapons once more on this film. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III has the fewest combat scenes of the whole unique trilogy and that must be fastened, we got here to see Ninja Turtles.
This concept isn’t excellent, however it’s significantly better than what we acquired and I’ve a sense it could be tickling nostalgia bones all these years later as an alternative of smelling of disappointment and remorse.
