David Lee Roth thinks he is aware of why Sammy Hagar retains speaking about him.
In a video posted to YouTube titled “The Ballad of Popsicle Sam,” Van Halen’s authentic frontman concluded that the Purple Rocker will need to have been “intercourse probed” by aliens.
“In response to Sam, he was kidnapped by aliens,” Roth defined, referring to Hagar’s perception that he had an alien encounter as a teen.
“I do know that once you’re kidnapped by aliens you get intercourse probed,” Roth insisted. “I’m compelled to solicit this sordid topic in an effort to clarify Sam Hagar’s conduct. For the final 10 summers I have never stated a single syllable about him. Not one. I defy you. And within the face of a continuing fart gasoline aimed in our course right here on the Mojo Dojo Diamond Dave Laboratories. And I feel we have arrived at each the technical and the medical reply which will clarify a few of Sammy Hagar’s conduct and his fixed spew of diarrhea vitriol in our course. Sammy Hagar was kidnapped by aliens and he was intercourse probed.”
READ MORE: The Finest Tune From Each Van Halen Album
Roth went on to ponder how an alien would possibly study a human, in the end admitting he had “no thought” of the means or equipment that might be used.
“However what I do know with absolute accuracy is that should you take a half of a popsicle and also you jam it right into a cassette tape participant, irrespective of how rigorously you extract it, that tape participant won’t ever play the identical once more,” Roth concluded. “Irrespective of how rigorously you try to repair these delicate little components. And it will worsen and it will seem to be the singer that you simply used to [be] will cease making sense by any means. Loads like Sam.”
There’s ‘No F—ing Approach’ Hagar and Roth Will Tour Collectively
Roth’s wild alien idea is simply the most recent chapter within the ongoing disagreement between the previous Van Halen singers. In November, following the announcement of his Van Halen-focused tour, Hagar haphazardly invited Roth to affix. “If David Lee Roth needs to return out and be part of us, come on, motherfucker. You might be welcome,” the Purple Rocker declared. Days later, Roth issued a response: “I am able to go. Let’s do that.”
READ MORE: The Finest Tune From Each Sammy Hagar Album
Regardless of what appeared like a doable settlement, Hagar quickly clarified that his invitation was for Roth to “sing a tune on a present or two… if he can bear in mind the phrases.” He added there was “no fucking approach” he’d comply with a full tour with Roth.
Van Halen Lineup Modifications
Three totally different singers and two totally different bassists joined the Van Halen brothers over time.
