Carla Najem, a Lebanese psychologist and the founding father of The Expat Psychologist, has made it her mission to help expatriates as they navigate the challenges of dwelling overseas. Her journey started in Lebanon, the place an early curiosity about human conduct and a deep empathy for others formed her profession path. Now based mostly in Montreal, Carla combines her private experiences as an immigrant and a mom of two along with her skilled experience to information sufferers by the complexities of psychological well being, cultural adaptation, and resilience.
On this unique interview with BelleBeirut, she shares insights into her private journey, her skilled challenges, and the distinctive wants of expatriates.
1- Are you able to share what impressed you to pursue a profession in psychology, and the way your upbringing in Lebanon influenced this path?
At a really early age, round 12 years outdated, I used to be intrigued by how individuals really feel, assume, and behave. I used to be extremely delicate to different individuals’s experiences and drawn to look at my buddies in school and even myself. My sister acquired me a diary, and I began what’s now referred to as journaling and had quite a lot of curiosity about my very own inside experiences as effectively. I didn’t know again then that I needed to be a psychologist, however I knew I needed to do one thing that may assist individuals round me take care of challenges.
Extra into my teenage years, I extremely empathized with schoolmates who gave the impression to be having a tough time. I believe once I was like 14 years outdated, I got here to my dad with nice ambition, pushing him to assist me create an NGO that assigns a buddy/buddy to every scholar (little did I do know that these packages existed manner earlier than I even thought of it). My dad, after all, inspired my far-fetched dream with open dialogue however not concrete motion. As I turned extra uncovered to completely different careers, it was truly journalism and psychology that had been high of my record. I turned extra positive about psychology once we began delving into philosophy and sociology in school. 
As an adolescent, naturally, I used to be in my rebellious stage and questioned many norms and ideas in my upbringing. On one hand, I needed to insurgent in opposition to society and my dad and mom’ will to problem misconceptions about psychology. Listening to suggestions equivalent to, “You’ll grow to be loopy working with mentally sick individuals,” strengthened my dedication extra. Alternatively, I skilled firsthand lots of our cultural, societal, and even political norms that negatively affect our psychological well being. Norms about not expressing feelings to point out energy, norms about elevating youngsters with aggression and worry as a disciplining technique, norms associated to gender roles, norms associated to relationships, norms associated to socioeconomic variations…
As many teenagers, I needed to vary the world—effectively, my world—and thought I might. I believed deeply within the significance of 1’s emotional well-being, and I additionally felt so strongly about following my calling. I nonetheless really feel I used to be destined for this sort of work.
2- As a mom of two and an expert, how do your private experiences form your observe?
One hit within the face I discovered as I turned a mom, is that I by no means actually/totally understood my shoppers experiences earlier than motherhood. I labored with maybe 1000’s of oldsters and youngsters earlier than turning into a mom. I listened, empathized, intellectually understood, guided and helped them to the very best of my capacity at the moment. However once I skilled motherhood I felt an enormous shift in my observe. Parenting experiences are extraordinarily advanced and distinctive. I consider it takes being a father or mother to totally perceive the each day struggles and the underlying emotional experiences. Earlier than turning into a mom, I used to be typically uncomfortable with dad and mom asking me if I’ve youngsters of my very own. I assumed they had been undermining my data, abilities and expertise. Now I do know they had been seeking to be totally understood.
3- Are you able to inform us concerning the transition from practising psychology in Lebanon to working in Canada? How has this transfer enriched or challenged your skilled perspective?
One of the crucial difficult experiences of my life. After I moved to Canada, like many people, my profession took an ideal hit. I had to return to highschool, be an intern once more, and begin over to be licensed right here. That course of alone was an enormous mountain for me after having had a thriving profession in Lebanon.
In order I began practising right here, I used to be coping with grief over my profession, acceptance of the place I’m proper now, rebuilding my confidence, navigating a brand new tradition with a number of subcultures, and adapting to a comparatively new language/ dialect. It’s been one hell of a journey to say the least.
One perception that was strengthened by that have is the unanimity of humanity and human experiences. I discovered that regardless of main cultural, societal, language variations, there isn’t a human expertise that we can’t all relate to if we dig deep sufficient. All people younger or outdated, white or black, wealthy or poor wish to really feel protected, be liked, really feel ok, accomplish issues, and have significant human connection. That understanding drastically influenced my method in remedy and my very own cultural adaptation.
4- What impressed you to launch The Expat Psychologist, and what’s the mission of this initiative?
My very own expat journey was my important motivator for positive. Being an expat is a extremely difficult and distinctive expertise that may both grow to be enriching or damaging to 1’s psychological wellbeing. In my observe in Lebanon, we was once totally booked on holidays and summer time holidays with expats coming again to see professionals in Lebanon. I used to partially marvel, don’t they’ve the very best most well-trained and controlled psychologists/psychiatrists within the west? Quickly sufficient I spotted they had been in search of actual connection, that they had larger belief in fellow compatriots, and so they wanted to be totally understood. After I began practising right here, quickly sufficient my observe full of Lebanese and arab expats in search of the identical factor. Somebody who speaks their language, somebody who understands their background, somebody who will get their jokes, somebody who is aware of the tradition, somebody who understands the household dynamics, somebody they will relate to, somebody who can totally get them. The extra I noticed this clientele, the extra I discovered that additionally my very own struggles had been shared. That the expat expertise is a shared/ collective expertise. That the troubles, considerations, fears, struggles, challenges are frequent amongst us all.
5- Many immigrants battle with adapting to a brand new tradition whereas going through psychological well being challenges. What are the distinctive wants of expatriates, and the way does your work deal with them?
One of many important issue expats battle with is the dearth of connection: issue connecting to individuals round them, to the cultural values and norms, dropping essential connection that they had with family and friends because of distance, feeling of loneliness and isolation in their very own expertise that folks again house can’t relate to. That theme retains arising in all of my classes with expats and even in my very own life. It appears to me that each one different struggles of tension, melancholy, issue in adaptation stem from that lack of connection. People are social beings and one in all our major wants is connection. Shifting away includes dropping outdated significant connections, making an attempt to ascertain new connections, and adapting as our connection to some individuals in our lives change with time and distance (bodily and psychological). In my work, I mix my psychological experience and expat expertise to assist my shoppers discover significant connection, uncover their strengths and talents to extend their resilience. Whether or not they find yourself altering route, returnign to their house nation, or transferring some other place doesn’t matter in our work. The main focus is on processing the change and grief of expatriation with quite a lot of compassion whereas empowering them to be current, action-driven, and construct the life they need. Being an expat, or transferring away is a life altering expertise like many different main life transitions equivalent to dying, sickness, marriage, youngsters, profession change, college… Each main change in life is destabilizing and has an affect on our psychological well being. How we reply to that massive change determines wehther we emerge positively or negatively. Resilience is outlined by the power to undergo a life altering expertise and have a constructive final result, rising with progress, success, that means, and energy.
Typically experiences equivalent to immigrating or transferring overseas are undervalued as it’s typically the results of life selection or one’s personal resolution. So individuals assume the affect is minimal or constructive always. That’s the explanation I needed to make clear that have and all it brings from ache to realize.
6- Your tagline, مغترب بس مش لحالك, is highly effective. What does this imply to you and your shoppers?
My tagline is how I would like my shoppers and viewers to really feel: not alone, related, supported, seen, understood, and held of their experiences.
7- What are some frequent psychological well being struggles you see amongst immigrant households, and the way do you method remedy for these instances?
One side of my observe is full of shoppers who’ve had a historical past of psychological well being points earlier than immigrating that had been both gentle or well-managed. Immigration was for many what we name in a scientific setting a set off, a driver that may tip the consumer over the sting and result in a flare of signs. So for instance, college students with a well-managed ADHD or a light ADHD, battle drastically once they transfer to check overseas (I see it within the college inhabitants largely), {couples} with some communication issues that had been effectively managed earlier than undergo main setbacks, youngsters who’ve an anxious temperament include full blown anxiousness episodes…
One other side of my observe is full of households fighting the difference course of. Individuals who I see battle essentially the most, younger adults who’re single professionals or college college students, center aged professionals, and households with younger youngsters or youngsters. Younger adults/ college students who come alone, battle quite a bit with an absence of a help system, issue making buddies, feeling of loneliness, demotivation to satisfy one’s duties. The primary issues are anxiousness, panic assaults, adjustment dysfunction and melancholy. Center-aged professionals battle quite a bit with profession adjustments, existential questions, identification disaster, no sense of belonging, loneliness, and relationship issues. These present up in anxiousness, overthinking, rumination, social isolation, and burn out. Households with younger youngsters battle with lack of help, confusion, lack of route, conduct issues, and father or mother burn out. Households with youngsters, typically come for issue navigating elevating adolescents in a international setting and completely different generally opposing cultural values. My therapeutic method for all instances is at all times guided by compassion and empathy first : looking for to pay attention, perceive, and really feel with my shoppers. Then centered on self-compassion and abilities constructing to shift ideas, feelings, and behaviors: Studying to be variety to oneself after which buying new instruments to take crucial and concrete motion in direction of the specified change.
8- Working in three languages should convey its personal challenges and advantages. How do you navigate cultural nuances in remedy?
Working in a extremely multicultural setting, Montreal, I’ve skilled constructive and detrimental affect of language on my observe. Through the years, I discover working with trilingual and bilingual shoppers, brings ease, bredth and depth to our conversations. With shoppers who solely communicate one language, particularly Quebecers, it was a problem to me personally to be taught dialect and cultural and language nuances. I spotted that my very own means of cultural adaptation, drastically impacted my ease with that clientele. Wanting again to my first Quebecer consumer, I see an enormous distinction in connection and relatedness on each side vs my shoppers now. It’s nonetheless a studying course of however that side that we frequently ignore working in non-multicultural setting was eye opening. Even with Arabic audio system, I discovered it enriching to be taught completely different dialects and cultural norms and values whereas working with Syrian, Palestinians, Morrocan, Algerian, Tunisian, Egyptian, and Iraqi shoppers. The affect of language and cultural nuances in remedy is essential however I nonetheless assume that the shared human expertise to which all of us can relate mixed with some cultural consciousness and sensitivity generally is a ok equation for therapeutic success.
9- Do you will have plans to increase The Expat Psychologist mission or provide extra assets for newcomers to Canada?
Sure positively. I hope and am working laborious to have the ability to attain as many expats in Canada and all over the world so I can present them with academic content material in addition to particular abilities to navigate life as an expat. One of many first assets I’m engaged on are workshops and programs for expats and potential expats (preparation even earlier than making the transfer). In my future plans, I intention to construct a neighborhood of expats well-equipped with psychological instruments to journey the waves of an expat life with a way of togetherness, connection and belonging.
You’ll be able to attain out to Carla Najem by her Instagram web page or by clicking on the contact us web page right here.
