Title card: The Grand Theft Auto 6 Sunscreen Thriller. Fade in: Inside. A detective’s workplace. Shutters preserve the glow of road lamps at bay. A lone determine paces across the room, kicking away cans of empty aerosol sunscreen that spill from an overflowing trash bin. They mutter to themself as they mild up a cigarette. On a corkboard we see a map of Miami seaside broadwalk, and a diagram charting the course of the Atlantic Coast solar. They’re shut. They will style it.
That is what I can solely assume occurred on the residence of Reddit person ficerc, who has written an investigation into the precise SPF issue being utilized in a brief, two-second clip from Grand Theft Auto 6’s current trailer by a throwaway NPC with zero relevance to the story. Aha, a throwaway joke, you would possibly assume—you would be mistaken.
Ficerc’s thread on the sport’s subreddit, titled: “What SPF sunscreen is getting used within the GTA VI trailer? An in-depth evaluation” has a degree of analysis I can solely describe as ‘obscene’.
“At this level, I am certain we have all observed the man making use of sunscreen within the new GTA VI trailer and thought, ‘What SPF are they carrying?'” writes ficerc, within the first of many assumptions that carry the remainder of their essay. “Prepare for some SPF hypothesis—it is gaming meets skincare investigation time!”
Step one of their investigation is to seek the advice of a desk from Banana Boat—that is a sunscreen firm within the US, by the way in which. Although ficerc appears to assume that is elementary, my pricey Watson. “Though any mildly competent sunscreen fanatic is aware of this desk by coronary heart, I’ll embrace it for any who might have forgotten.”
Utilizing this, they rapidly decide the sunbather’s pores and skin tone by cross-referencing it with the Fitzpatrick Pores and skin Rating, which was developed in 1975 by a dermatologist of the identical identify—although the size’s come underneath criticism for failing to correctly have in mind the pores and skin most cancers danger of Black demographics. They then mix this with Von Luschan’s chromatic scale (which was utilized in Nazi Germany for the needs of eugenics) to create a bespoke desk they’ll correctly examine with Banana Boat’s sources.
Stepping to the aspect of an in any other case masterclass shitpost: I really feel like I ought to correctly spotlight that each these tables come from unsavoury locations, which is unlucky. I might wager there was no hurt meant—ficerc is attempting to find out the SPF of sunscreen as a joke, and their unique supply (the Banana Boat desk) is designed to assist individuals keep away from pores and skin most cancers danger (and promote sunscreen, although two issues may be true without delay). Nonetheless, it is price noting.
In a feat of numbers sorcery, they examine their new desk to the NPC from the trailer and determine that she most definitely has the “darkish pores and skin tone”, which Banana Boat recommends a SPF of 8-14 for one hour spent outside on the low finish, and an SPF of 30 on the excessive finish. “Now comes the tough half.” Now?
The second half of the puzzle entails ficerc figuring out what number of hours this NPC plans to remain outside—and to keep away from spoilers (which this factor is large enough to have) I am simply going to hyperlink the thread right here on your full perusal. It entails charting the course of the Miami Solar.
What SPF sunscreen is getting used within the GTA VI trailer? An in-depth evaluation. from r/GTA
This is a gigantic quantity of dedication given to a shitpost—does a random NPC’s sunscreen SPF have any bearing on GTA 6’s plotline? No, in no way. I doubt that is even one thing the devs have considered, and Rockstar is infamously detail-oriented. Not ficerc, although. They’re devoted to the reality, by any means mandatory.
I will go away you with this remark, which I feel sums up my emotions on this entire factor higher than I can myself. One person writes: “As you scroll, the unhappy realisation that this will need to have taken hours to make begins to overshadow the satire of it.” ’nuff stated, BeerShitzAndBongRips, ’nuff stated.
