When Mike’s daughter acquired engaged, he and his spouse wished to assist pay for it.
Mike, who requested Enterprise Insider to solely use his first identify for privateness causes, estimated {that a} wedding ceremony within the Kansas Metropolis space would price between $15,000 and $25,000 on the time, which was round 2015.
Mike and his spouse determined they might put $20,000 in direction of the marriage, however they knew wedding ceremony spending can get out of hand and that feelings are likely to run excessive through the planning course of.
So as an alternative of working intently with their daughter on her wedding ceremony plans and speaking via every potential price, they got here up with an easy answer: give her and her fiancé a lump sum of $20,000 and allow them to do all of the planning.
“I did not need to be telling my daughter what she might and could not do,” he stated. “She was an grownup.”
Mike stated the technique took the strain off him and his spouse and helped keep away from any wrestling over who was shopping for what or what his daughter might and couldn’t have at her personal wedding ceremony. He additionally stated it helped him and his spouse contribute the quantity they wished with out going over funds by including on issues right here and there.
In 2023, the nationwide common price of a marriage was $35,000, in accordance with The Knot, whereas the common price in Kansas was $25,000. Nonetheless, most {couples} find yourself going over their funds. A Actual Weddings Research by The Knot discovered 56% of couple spent a median of $7,600 extra on their wedding ceremony than they deliberate. Others exceeded their funds by greater than $10,000.
Whereas custom usually has the bride’s household primarily paying for a marriage, these customs are altering, particularly as People get married later in life and are extra capable of tackle their very own wedding ceremony prices. A 2023 examine from The Knot discovered it is extra frequent for {couples} and their households to separate the prices equally.
Mike, his spouse, their daughter, and her fiancé have been all pleased with the lump-sum settlement.
“Then they type of tricked me,” he stated, laughing. “Someday, they got here dwelling and stated, ‘Hey, we purchased a home.'”
The couple took the $20,000 and used it to place a down cost on their dwelling — earlier than they really had their wedding ceremony, which they then deliberate to pay for out of their very own pocket.
Initially, Mike was shocked, however in the end, he thought it was factor that his daughter and her fiancé paid for their very own wedding ceremony.
“If children should not given carte blanche on wedding ceremony plans, in the event that they’re pressured to funds from their very own standpoint, the entire thing simply would not get out of hand,” he stated.
The couple held the marriage on the rose backyard in Unfastened Park, a big public park in Kansas Metropolis, and at a well-liked reception corridor. Mike stated every thing in regards to the wedding ceremony appeared affordable however that he by no means discovered what they ended up spending.
“I by no means requested,” he stated.
If the couple had used the cash for a down cost after which eloped, Mike stated that will have bothered him. However so long as he and his spouse have been nonetheless capable of attend their daughter’s wedding ceremony, they have been comfortable.
“I figured I acquired off for an inexpensive amount of cash for the marriage, and so they acquired a down cost on a home out of the deal and a marriage,” he stated.
Mike stated he thinks too many individuals get caught up on the lavish weddings they see on TikTok, however that it may well take away from the “complete level of getting a marriage, which is to have a wedding.”
He additionally stated that he thinks by serving to them learn to funds their cash for a marriage, it was additionally step in direction of studying tips on how to funds in a wedding.
Mike’s spouse did find yourself giving their daughter a bit extra money ultimately, which he thinks was for one thing having to do together with her gown.
“She snuck it in,” he stated, laughing. “She could not resist.”
Have a information tip or a narrative to share in regards to the prices of throwing a marriage or being in a bridal social gathering? Contact this reporter at kvlamis@businessinsider.com.
