Romances in RPGs like Cyberpunk 2077 are… let’s name them awkward. More often than not, this is not on goal. We’re purported to really feel cool, like Commander Shepard the bonafide badass area ranger, not some Joe Shmuck who strikes out and makes use of “xD” in textual content messages.
In actuality, it is so arduous to make a sport character genuinely cool in terms of romance. Strains are performed straight however they typically come off as tacky, corny, or in some unlucky instances, kinda sketchy.
It does not assist that sport animation is an inexact science. Even our spectacular, fancy-fangled movement seize sometimes produces awkward fumbling whenever you’re bumping uglies. Cyberpunk’s no totally different when it comes right down to these awkward intercourse montages—I am not about to offer a glowing overview of these, they’re, uh… attention-grabbing, however in the way in which you wish to examine below lab circumstances.
All this being stated, Cyberpunk 2077 makes the deliberate option to keep away from makes an attempt at making V a slick ‘n’ seductive, awkwardly-animated love machine. They are that Joe Shmuck, and the sport leans into that cringe, completely.
I made a decision out of scientific curiosity (and completely not as a result of Evening Metropolis’s crammed with fairly individuals) to dive into each romance route I may, and man—V flirts prefer it’s their first time speaking to anyone. Spoilers for fairly just a few romance choices. You have been warned, edgerunner.
Evening Metropolis goofballs
Let’s discuss my V’s extra profitable trysts, first. Panam Palmer’s a badass. She’s a nomad from the Aldecaldos, that means she’s spent most of her life tearing up dust in monster vans with skull-crushing tires. She’s additionally socially awkward, so watching her and V flirt like highschool sweethearts was each humorous and actually charming.
Image this: you are in a small, deserted shack in the midst of a sandstorm. The lady you’ve got been makin’ eyes at rests her legs on you. Do you, A) say one thing witty concerning the scenario, or B) confess your rising emotions for her, or C) play it cool?
For those who selected any of these choices, you are barely higher at flirting than Evening Metropolis’s most legendary mercenary. Working with a bit concerning the shack being a crappy motel, V proceeds to undertake a concierge’s voice and says: “Ma’am, I am certain you would be cosier together with your sneakers off.” It was dumb sufficient to make me fold in half out of embarrassment. It did, nevertheless, do its job of warming me as much as these two characters greater than any James Bond one-liner may.
Then there’s River Ward. I’ve some complaints about how this storyline ends—River solely goes in for the female physique kind, however he’ll nonetheless kinda flirt with you even when your V’s made out of man, prime to backside. Possibly I used to be studying an excessive amount of into his bromance, however come on, what’s platonic about saying “hey, let’s sneak away from this ceremonial dinner and climb a water tower to look at the solar set”? I am not nonetheless upset, I promise.
Every little thing else although? Implausible. The textual content messages are notably awkward, with V attempting to steer the dialog in direction of flirtation with all of the grace of a brick fired out of a cannon—like whenever you ask him “what beer he is on proper now”, adopted by that aforementioned “xD”. I even had a chance to get just a little chilly with him when speaking about his former love life. I am a sucker for drama.
Hell, my V even tried to get with Goro Takemura, which—are you able to blame me? The person is a Silver Fox, lethal as a razor blade, and adorably unhealthy at residing in a grimey metropolis.
Takemura despatched a really panicked message the place he informed me he was honoured, however that perhaps below different circumstances, issues may’ve been totally different. This was within the instant aftermath of sieging an Arasaka facility, so I bought to think about my battle-scarred V crouched in conjunction with the street together with his head in his arms. Nice stuff.
We’re all just a little cringe
I believe, finally, what warms my cockles about the way in which these romances are dealt with is that they are fairly human. For starters, V’s a mercenary. Their job is to go and do unhealthy issues to different individuals for cash. They do not precisely get plenty of probabilities to be intimate—they usually’re not some undercover agent (effectively, Phantom Liberty has some spy thriller stuff, however even then). They’re muscle for rent. So after all they do not know flirt. When did they’ve the time?
What’s extra, it is true to life. Look, if somebody tells you that they are 100% easy with all people they arrive throughout—they are a liar. From the surface, I assure nearly everybody has had moments like V. Possibly not as dramatic as attempting (and failing) to make out together with your greatest bro in entrance of a sundown, however you recognize. Stuff much like that occurs to all people.
That works in Evening Metropolis as a result of it is so typically devoid of humanity, of heat. It is a merciless, capricious, hyper-capitalist hellscape, the place individuals are as disposable as a budget cybernetics they’re saddled with. However V will completely do a foolish voice and fake to be the receptionist at a resort as a result of that is how individuals work. To err is to human, and boy will we err a lot once we like somebody.
These romances are little islands of charming buffoonery in a blood-soaked marketing campaign, one the place you spend most of your time shanking mooks in slow-mo to excessive octane synthwave. I hope in that far-off sequel, our character will get to be simply as unrepentantly cringe. It is an island of innocence the setting of Cyberpunk desperately wants.
