Paulina Porizkova has revealed she wished to die after her ex-husband Ric Ocasek’s handed unexpectedly in 2019.
Ocasek was one of many lead vocalists within the band the Vehicles, and died on September 15 that 12 months. Ocasek’s demise occurred two weeks after he’d undergone surgical procedure, although Porizkova later claimed the surgical procedure was not the explanation for his demise.
Now the mannequin, 57, has opened up about what grieving her husband was actually like, in an interview with Web page Six.
”It isn’t even a lot that I thought of how you can kill myself or when to kill myself – it was simply that feeling of, ‘I simply do not know how you can go on. I am unable to do that anymore. … I simply wish to go away. I am unable to bear waking up tomorrow morning, being the identical individual with the identical emotions. I am unable to carry it anymore,'” she mentioned.
She added, “I imply, how many individuals would not [think about it], ?”
Porizkova and Ocasek had a difficult relationship previous to his demise, having simply separated a 12 months earlier.
The pair had been married for 28 years and shared two youngsters, Jonathan, now 29, and Oliver, now 24, once they determined to separate in 2018.
However on the time of Ocasek’s demise, your entire household was nonetheless residing collectively.
It got here as a large blow then, when Porizkova found as they have been organising her ex-husband’s funeral, that he’d reduce her out of his will.
“I’ve made no provision for my spouse Paulina Porizkova… as we’re within the technique of divorcing,” the rocker wrote in his final needs.
“Even when I ought to die earlier than our divorce is ultimate… Paulina is just not entitled to any elective share… as a result of she has deserted me.”
Within the interview, which promotes Porizkova’s new assortment of essays, No Filter: The Good, the Unhealthy, and the Stunning, Porizkova revealed the harm that got here from that discovery, calling it a “betrayal”.
“It was actually, actually exhausting as a result of clearly, to start with, you are grieving an individual that has been your complete life, a very powerful individual in your life… there was a lot ache simply stacked up on high of one another… after which this betrayal was rather a lot,” she mentioned.
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