Whats up everybody. Welcome to Friday. You made it to the top of the week. Congrats. I’ve a deal with for you all: Taco Bell’s 2024 Stay Mas Occasion. What’s that? It’s principally a Taco Bell mini-E3 full with musical acts, bulletins, and all of the cringey moments you crave from one thing like this. Sure, if you happen to guessed that this could be a bizarre, late-capitalist fever dream, you might be appropriate.
I had no concept this occasion was taking place till somebody on Twitter started tweeting about it. I instantly dropped every little thing and began watching.
The occasion opened with Taco Bell’s CEO displaying up and speaking about how nice the quick meals chain is and the way anybody can get pleasure from its large tacos and burritos. For instance this, he pointed to a tweet that I’m 98% sure is a joke and wasn’t meant to be taken severely by anybody, particularly not the dude operating Taco Bell. It referred to as Taco Bell “the final nice melting pot of sophistication on this nation.”
After that, there was some extra fluff, and I’ll be sincere with you all: If you happen to tuned into this occasion for large information in regards to the Baja Blast or what’s subsequent for Taco Bell’s menu, you have been in all probability a bit pissed off by all of the fluff stuffed into this Ubisoft circa 2015 convention.
At one level, somebody started handing out awards to of us for greatest menu hack and greatest Taco Bell marriage ceremony. Afterward, the entire occasion stopped for a couple of minutes to let two dudes play some acoustic music. They sounded wonderful, however digital camera pictures of the group (together with a dude’s hat that had “Moist Goals Surf Membership” emblazoned on it) appeared to point that the room was very a lot not into this vibe and simply wished to know what new slop Taco Bell was dropping.
Lastly, after almost half-hour of…no matter that every one was, the chief advertising and marketing officer at Taco Bell, Taylor Montgomery, confirmed as much as ship some Taco Bell product information to thunderous applause and cheering. The information: Taco Bell needs to and plans on making its standard nacho fries everlasting menu objects. However they’re nonetheless making an attempt to “determine” how. Okay…
After that, he gave us a shadow-drop (it’s identical to Hello-Fi Rush on the Xbox Developer Direct!), saying a brand new “Tacky Rooster Crispanda,” a shredded cheese-filled, chicken-stuffed empanada. People gasped (not kidding) when he confirmed that this new menu merchandise can be out there nationwide subsequent week.
Subsequent up, he revealed Taco Bell is bringing rooster nuggets to the menu. On the sight of those fried bits of rooster, somebody within the crowd yelled out “No manner!” Montgomery was fast to answer: “Sure manner! Whoever stated ‘no manner,’ YES WAY woman!”
Then, after some airhorns, Montgomery revealed a brand new “very restricted time” merchandise: Baja Blast ice cream. It’s deliberate to launch this summer season. I assume at this level at the least one individual within the viewers had fainted from all of the Taco Bell information. It was simply an excessive amount of.
And for all you sauce packet sickos, Taco Bell is aware of you might be uninterested in the boring outdated packets. So it’s altering them up this 12 months and we bought our first have a look at the brand new ones. Thrilling stuff, of us. I’m vibrating.
However Taco Bell wasn’t achieved. No. In spite of everything that, Montgomery confirmed a picture of a Crunchwrap and stated, “Seems to be like an everyday Crunchwrap, proper?” People, that’s your first clue that the person is about to trick you all. And he did. It seems, it wasn’t an everyday Crunchwrap (GASP!) however the truth is it contained an enormous Cheez-It.
“Ooohhhhhhh!!” went many of us within the viewers. “WAAHhh!” yelled another person at this revelation.
“I current to you: the Cheez-It Crunchwrap!” Extra cheering adopted. In accordance with Montgomery, this new merchandise might be out there at each Taco Bell this summer season. The occasion then ended with a rap break.
Take pleasure in your weekend of us, and bear in mind to Stay Mas!
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