At the moment is American Thanksgiving and I’m one of many many of us (hopefully, expensive god hopefully) who is selecting to not have a good time the vacation with a giant household gathering. It sucks, however it’s a mandatory sacrifice in order that we will all be secure, wholesome, and alive to spend subsequent Thanksgiving collectively.
This story initially ran on November 26, 2020. We’re republishing it as we speak for Thanksgiving 2025.
Even with out the specter of covid hanging over us, it’s been a very long time since my prolonged household gathered collectively and had a superb old style Thanksgiving meal. I miss my mom’s turkey and my aunt’s dressing (she all the time made two varieties: oyster and non-oyster). I miss my different aunt’s collard greens and her black-eyed peas and the candy potatoes she garnished with marshmallows and pecans. Most of all, I miss my granny’s dinner rolls, who nobody’s been capable of recreate since she handed away final January.
There are these of us who, whether or not via covid-imposed isolation or different bittersweet causes, shall be spending the day with our online game households as an alternative of our actual ones. Right here’s what I feel my online game household would carry to the Thanksgiving feast.
Barret Wallace (Last Fantasy VII Remake)
This man doesn’t prepare dinner. There’s no method to know if he merely can’t or received’t. If he can’t do it within the microwave, it is not going to be executed. He depends on others, particularly ladies, to feed his youngster. Not as a result of he has antiquated interested by gender roles, however as a result of someday deep in his previous a kitchen morally wronged him and he forswore cooking endlessly after.
He can grill his ass off although. Despite the fact that it’s Thanksgiving, count on an ideal brisket.
Grace Walker (Wolfenstein: The New Colossus)
Grace Walker is the form of Black auntie who cooks the Thanksgiving feast cussing and fussing with a cigarette in her hand the complete time with not nary an ash spilled. She’s the one auntie who can prepare dinner prepare dinner and is the one one granted the privilege of constructing the macaroni and cheese. It’s silly to ask her for the recipe—measurements, timing, and elements change in accordance with her will—however it tastes the identical and so damned good each time. There’s a cause your older kin is not going to eat macaroni and cheese not ready her hand and can verbally destroy anybody who tries to usurp her hallowed place. Doesn’t eat pork.
Athena (Hades)
Athena is the bougie aunt who thinks she’s higher than everybody else as a result of she acquired a sophisticated diploma and studied overseas in Greece for a couple of years. She often geese out of the celebration to place out some fireplace at work by “granting a boon.” You don’t know what she does, however you get the sensation all her coworkers are jerks.
She brings store-bought cookies for dessert that nobody eats.
Clementine (The Strolling Useless)
Like Barret, she doesn’t prepare dinner. By no means realized. Feeds herself completely via DoorDash. She’s very useful although, and all the time keen to help within the kitchen. Auntie Grace often chases her out as a result of she’s in the way in which. The household matriarch chastises her for “yelling at her child.”
Cullen Rutherford (Dragon Age: Inquisition)
Cullen is the white boyfriend everybody tolerates as a result of he’s cute and deeply non secular. Must be advised to take off his footwear. Wonders aloud the place all of the casseroles are.
Sazh Katzroy (Last Fantasy XIII)
Sazh is the uncle who insists everybody calls him “unc.” He’s the occasion uncle and the Thanksgiving DJ. Regularly places on the outdated hits that everyone is aware of however will nonetheless say “whatchu learn about this proper right here?” to his youthful nieces and nephews. Adores his younger son.
Doesn’t carry something besides a deck of playing cards. Will homicide the complete household at Spades.
Prince Zagreus (Hades)
Clementine’s good friend from college who appeared kinda unhappy and pathetic so she introduced him dwelling along with her. Is one way or the other related to Athena however neither of them elaborates. Doesn’t like answering questions on his household. Doesn’t carry any meals however does carry a bitchin’ bottle of one thing that everybody needs to attempt.
Doesn’t keep lengthy.
Kazuma Kiryu (Yakuza 0)
International change scholar?? Significantly no person is aware of how he acquired there however no person cares as a result of he’s such a candy boy. Appears to be like robust, however nonetheless performs with all of the youngster cousins. Massive Mama asks if she will be able to repair him a plate. He’s your brother now.
Commander Zavala (Future 2)
Can throw down within the kitchen. Makes the collard greens, one with hamhocks and one with out for Auntie Grace. She is impressed by his thoughtfulness and makes an attempt to slide him her quantity. Zavala makes bizarre excuses about “Europa” and “defending humanity” and slips out the again door.
