Would You Kill For Me: Mary Elizabeth Bailey On Healing, Hope & Bringing Her Story to the Small Screen

Mary Elizabeth Bailey is a real inspiration.

She’s additionally the inspiration behind Lifetime’s newest Ripped from the Headlines movie, Would You Kill For Me? The Mary Bailey Story.

It is a difficult-to-watch however incredible film and one of many strongest of the true-crime slate.

We have been extremely lucky to talk to Mary Elizabeth Bailey about bringing her story to the small display screen, advocacy, therapeutic, what she hopes others pull from her story, and a lot extra.

Try our dialogue under, share your ideas, and present her love within the feedback.

Did Lifetime attain out to you about desirous to do your story? What impressed you to affix forces at Lifetime?

Yeah, after I had written the e-book, Individuals journal reached out to me, and I did the Individuals journal article final 12 months.

After that got here out, Pierre David, a producer who works carefully with Lifetime for many of his movies, reached out to me by way of one among his assistants on Instagram. I adopted up with Jackie on the request to see if it was legit, let her do her magic, and right here we’re. We ended up with a film.

Yeah, you probably did. Not everybody will get one!

It is unimaginable. It is really a blessing. I am so grateful and grateful that we’re capable of get my story to the general public, for individuals to learn it and to see it, and hopefully, it can assist many individuals. That is my aim.

Typically, in movies like these, liberties are taken for the fictionalized drama elements. How a lot did the movie differ out of your precise experiences?

There are undoubtedly some totally different eventualities. As an illustration, they’ve within the film that my grandmother was up in the course of the homicide, and actually, she was in mattress asleep. She had nothing to do with it. So it is simply issues like that.

It is simply my brother and myself within the film. However I’ve two different siblings who have been there and within the e-book, My Mom’s Soldier, however simply due to value restrictions and sure issues.

There have been just a few liberties taken that they needed to take once I was a child or issues that occurred between my mom and another of us, Willard’s ex; I wasn’t sufficiently old to know what occurred.

In order that they needed to take liberties in that respect. So it is good. It is nice. Every part was performed very tastefully and respectively.

Now, was that you just making an look throughout one of many courtroom scenes?

Sure.

I like that. I believed it was poignant to have you ever sitting behind this younger actress enjoying your self. What was that second particularly like for you?

Since you’re a part of this challenge, telling your story and seeing all of it play out in entrance of your eyes. Are you able to describe what that was like for you on set and that feeling?

It was an unimaginable second. And simply to seize that and seize that scene the best way we did it actually was unimaginable. And to only look and watch your life unfold.

As a result of I wasn’t within the courtroom as a baby when all that was happening, I did not get to expertise what was mentioned. Simply the courtroom drama, you’ll say. I did not expertise it.

So, to have the ability to sit there as an grownup within the courtroom and look and watch is unimaginable. I do not suppose many individuals get to observe their lives unfold in that respect.

In order that was attention-grabbing, and it was very emotional. Nevertheless it was simply such an honor and a privilege to be there and to have that half and simply to be sitting proper behind Presley [Allard], who’s enjoying me. It was simply unimaginable.

Oh, she was incredible. She was so good.

Wasn’t she nice? I instructed her, “Presley, you are going to be wonderful should you proceed to behave. You have got this uncanny means simply to seize audiences and seize individuals. She’s simply so good.

I recognize and located the film filming from three totally different views attention-grabbing. I feel that was one of many movie’s strengths, with loads of emphasis on the generational trauma and type of that cycle and simply resulting in you breaking that cycle.

So, was it troublesome to revisit that in that facet, or did you think about this movie cathartic?

It actually was cathartic. However writing it was most likely probably the most cathartic as a result of that is when all the true emotion in me watching the movie, watching the tape, seeing what my mom mentioned within the courtroom, seeing what occurred in that courtroom.

Nevertheless it was, and it was attention-grabbing to see it from totally different views as a result of once I first began watching the movie, I wasn’t there your complete time for the movie.

I used to be there for the final seven days, so I noticed loads. So once I’m watching it, I am like, Wait a minute, that is not what occurred. Nevertheless it took me a minute, even me, only a minute, to appreciate that this was coming from another person’s perspective. And that is what audiences have to appreciate.

There are three views of a narrative. Even myself, once I started watching it, despatched me the hyperlink. I used to be shocked at first and like, Wait a minute, that is not what occurred.

However from her perspective, it was precisely what she mentioned. However I wasn’t within the courtroom. I do not bear in mind all of the issues that she mentioned, and I would not be aware about all that till I wrote the e-book.

After all, it is just like the saying goes: it is your reality, my reality, and the reality someplace in between once they speak about views.

I loved that facet of the movie and the multigenerational element of it, with every of those ladies bringing their very own experiences and traumas into the combination. It was so quintessential Lifetime. They’re simply actually nice at telling, like they are saying, actual tales about actual ladies.

I agree. I couldn’t agree extra.

And while you hear that half within the film, they are saying, we do not need to hear your grandmother’s story, Mary, your mom’s story. We need to hear your story, and I believed that’s precisely proper. That’s the story. That is the reality. That is what you are going to hear. They did a incredible job with that.

I can not say sufficient good issues about Greg McBride. We’re like kindred spirits.

As he wrote it, we may talk and speak by way of Zoom. And he is simply been such a blessing in my life. He is simply so compassionate and so understanding, and he is so enjoyable to work with.

There’s loads of emphasis in your energy. Going by way of one thing like that and persevering, I am in awe of you, and also you’re an inspiration due to your energy and resilience.

Nevertheless it was fascinating that your energy was nearly a double-edged sword. It was used in opposition to you as properly — so far as your mom counting on that energy that she possibly did not possess to avoid wasting her.

Yeah, that is a extremely good level. You are actually the primary one that’s most likely pointed that out and mentioned that.

However you are proper. She relied on me at eleven years outdated to avoid wasting, shield, and assist her. After which ten years later, the identical factor occurred. She’s me on the finish of the film to assist her, to avoid wasting her, and actually her entire life. That is simply how she was.

It was all the time me that needed to be the robust one, me that needed to be the one to maintain children and her, and it was powerful.

Yeah, it has been a loopy journey, however I discovered a lot, and I’ve discovered the best way to heal, and I’ve discovered the best way to have hope and forgiveness and all these actually great issues that all of us attempt so laborious to study in life.

It wasn’t simple, nevertheless it’s been value it. And within the course of, I’ve healed a lot. And it is that is the good a part of it.

That is what I would like for everybody who watches this movie to see and pull these optimistic issues and people issues out of the film in order that they will use them of their life and attempt to course of their traumas.

Completely. I am in awe of that therapeutic course of. How do you get on the opposite facet of that? The timing of this movie could not be higher with Home Violence Consciousness Month.

And Breast Most cancers Consciousness Month. I’ve had breast most cancers. I am a most cancers survivor. And yeah, the timing for the whole lot. Right now’s my birthday, so at present’s one other nice day.

However the whole lot main as much as this, there’s goal for this, and discovering all that energy to do these issues, it was by way of my religion. That is what I needed to have. On the finish of the day, I had my religion, and that is what pushed me by way of.

And I do know that not everybody has that. And I am not somebody who’s tremendous non secular or something like that. I’ve religion, and I’ve the assumption you could overcome issues, that life does not need to be the way it was once I was 11.

I haven’t got to reside that life. I can break that cycle. I can transfer on as a result of it is my life. I can not blame my dad and mom perpetually.

It appeared that church turned your sanctuary. Was your grandmother the one who introduced you to church as a baby?

She would take me to church, however within the e-book, I speak concerning the pastor who picked me up. He began choosing me up each Sunday and taking me to church, and he invited us to trip Bible faculty.

I used to be out enjoying at some point, and he invited us, got here up, simply drove up, and was like, “Hey, children, you guys need to go to trip bible faculty?” And I used to be like, “What’s that?” And he is like, “Church. We sing, and we eat cookies, and we play, and we simply have a good time.” Like, yeah, I need to go.

In order that’s simply the place I discovered a goal. I discovered individuals there, and I discovered goal, and I discovered God. I discovered anyone I may speak to. And to me, that was what I wanted. I wanted somebody I knew who would hearken to me, despite the fact that I did not know who he was.

He wasn’t anyone that I may simply name up on the telephone or go down the road to their home, nevertheless it was anyone that I knew, and I felt like was there.

And so for me, once I went by way of the trauma and, after the homicide, went into foster care and wasn’t allowed to return to high school, I used to be sitting at dwelling on my own.

I used to be sitting in a stranger’s home, primarily. These foster individuals, I do not even know these individuals. So, that relationship that I had constructed and that religion that I had was my consolation.

That is what helped me day by day to get by way of it.

And so that you undergo life, make errors, reside, and do, however that religion has all the time been there. And it is all the time helped to remind me to forgive, assist, and provides hope the place hope is missing.

This occurred within the 80s. Home violence wasn’t taken severely sufficient on the time. It nonetheless is not at present, despite the fact that we have made progress. However nonetheless, there’s such a scarcity of comprehension concerning the many types of abuse and what it even seems to be like.

How essential was it to actually seize the layers of home violence and abuse? You guys did it properly, I am going to add.

Yeah. I used to be glad to see that. I, after all, want Lifetime — we may have performed a little bit bit extra as a result of there was loads of abuse, much more than you noticed. And it was a little bit extra graphic and a little bit extra violent. However I am glad by way of the home violence that they will see that.

As you mentioned, it was not a giant factor within the ’80s. Battered ladies’s syndrome was simply beginning to be one thing you heard about or mentioned. However I see it even at present.

My husband is a lawyer in household legislation, and he offers with these items: home violence, home points, individuals submitting 50B’s on their partner, whether or not they’ve abused them or not.

The system is simply damaged.

However it’s getting higher, and I feel simply fixed consciousness and bringing movies, books, and flicks out right here so that folks can see it and hopefully have a look at that and say, oh my gosh, I am in the identical state of affairs. I’ve to get out. I’ve to take a look at different choices. I can not let what occurred to this little lady occur to me as a result of it may well occur to anybody.

After all.

Acknowledge these indicators and get out. It appears horrific, like, who may do that? However while you get determined, Greg did an excellent job of exhibiting my mom’s desperation.

Sure, it’s a very difficult state of affairs with so many complexities, and the movie captures the layers. One of many first questions is, “Why did not you simply go away?” And we see a little bit of why it isn’t so black and white, particularly throughout that point.

And she or he did go away, and in my e-book, she did go away, however his threats have been simply an excessive amount of for her.

After all, I wrote about that as a result of he would depart, and we would return to my grandmothers, and we would keep there, and he’d name her on the telephone and say, “I am standing proper right here on the prime of the mountain, and while you come out the door, I am going to simply blow your head off should you do not come again dwelling.”

‘So that you both want to return again dwelling at present, or I will blow your brains out.” And it was simply that easy.

What do you do? You are 20-some years outdated; you are petrified of this individual.

He is violent; he is confirmed that, so it is simply simpler to return.

Do you need to share any last ideas about Would You Kill For Me, its significance, and why individuals have to see it?

So many individuals know who I’m at present. I am blissful. I am profitable by regular requirements, and I’ve not allowed this to shake me and to alter me.

I’ve continued to concentrate on myself and who I need to be, and I would like different individuals to see that. I would like different individuals to observe this and suppose, what? I am not going to let my present state of affairs or what occurred to me prior to now cease me from being the most effective model of myself and who I will be.

And if there’s somebody they should forgive of their life, I hope they will discover a strategy to open up, to jot down a letter, to select up the telephone and name that individual earlier than it is too late.

I received the prospect to actually revisit my mom after 20-some years of not seeing her, all due to my e-book, due to Individuals journal, and the movie.

I imply, she handed away lower than a 12 months, lower than six months after I noticed her. Once I did the Individuals journal, she handed away from most cancers.

Had that not occurred, had I not been courageous sufficient to jot down the e-book and to speak about issues that have been laborious to speak about laborious issues, I might have by no means been capable of reconnect along with her, and he or she would have died considering I did not care, I did not love her, I did not forgive her. However that did not occur.

And so that is the blessing in all of it. Once more, it appears like that is precisely the place God was main me down that street to forgiveness. And I simply suppose it is great.

So that is what I am hoping for with the movie, is that folks can look in themselves and see if they will see themselves wherever on this movie, wherever on this life. That is my hope.

For extra details about the inspiring Mary Elizabeth Bailey, you may try her web site, and it’s also possible to discover her on Instagram @mymotherssoldier.

When you or somebody is in want of help, yow will discover nameless, confidential assist out there 24/7, name the Nationwide Home Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY). You may as well textual content START to 88788.

Would You Kill For Me? The Mary Bailey Story airs Saturday, October 28 at 8/7c on Lifetime.

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